From sailors wife....to gamers wife

I used to be the wife of a sailor. I was ready for battle when he went, I was ready for a long distance relationship, I was honored to be there supporting my sailor. Now.....

I'm the wife of a gamer. My husband was released honorably from the Navy and since then he has been in college. Since he gets a nice check from the Department of Veterans Affairs every month he decided not to get a job right away. He's studying game art and design to work for and eventually run his own game studio.

Now instead of duty, daily work, long hours, deployments, etc I deal with Call of Duty, Dead Island, Megaman, Zelda, Battlefield and many many other video games. Most women would have left my husband by now because he plays daily. Not just daily ladies, but many hours per day. He spends a lot of money on games, accessories, consoles, headsets, controllers, wires I mean the list goes on and on. But I see this as preparation for his career. I know it may sound stupid or nieve but I see his expereince with video games as plus because I know some day he will be making us a lot of money with these stupid ass games. At least he better be! Now if it were just my man playing this much for fun, I would have kicked the habit or him to the curb.

So if your husband or boyfriend is addicted to these games maybe you could convice him to go into the game industry so you can at least benefit from the thousands of hours you hear "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CAMPER!"
EMM

Remember 9/11

It's been 10 years since the tragic events of September 11th happened. I find myself glued to the television every year watching footage of what happened that day. Some people might think, "Why? It's depressing and you were alive when it happened. Not only alive, but you were 16" Here's the thing, on that day in 2001, I was not old enough or mature enough to understand how this would affect our country. Believe me, I knew it was bad, I knew it was wrong but I did not understand the pain millions of people were going through.

On that morning, I woke up to get ready for school. My mom watches the news every morning. I should say she has it on because she never watches it's really just for noise in the house. She called my name out and yelled for me to go to her room. I ran over there and saw what was happening. The first plane had hit already and we were saddened. I thought at first that it was a tragic accident. While watching we were together staring at the screen as the second plane hit the other tower. I can only imagine I reacted in shock because I really don't remember what happened next. All I know is school was scheduled and I couldn't miss. To be honest, I don't remember other students talking about it other than "Did you see what happened?" It wasn't discussed as a terrorist act at all. For the rest of the day we went from class to class continuing to watch footage of the towers. Since I was driving my brother and I to school, we didn't even know the towers had fallen. It wasn't until my 2nd period class that we were watching the news that I heard the towers fell. Even then, I assumed everyone got out ok. Little did I know.

Every year that the anniversary comes up, I cry more than the year before. I pray harder than the year before. I feel pain more than the year before. I think what gets me most is knowing that people jumped to their freedom. They saw no way out and took their lives into their own hands. They made the ultimate decision to get it over with because they knew it was between that, burning alive, or being crushed to death by thousands of pounds of steel. There wasn't any hope for them. It hurts my heart to think what those innocent hardworking people had to go through. On top of that the families of the victims must have felt a pain like no other. They are a part of history now.

Then there are the firefighters. During a clip of a documentary of 9/11 I was listening to a survivor speak. He said the worst part wasn't the smoke, death, fire, heat, walking down 90 floors of stairs, dehydration, fear, sadness or pain it was looking into the eyes of the brave firefighters who KNEW they were climbing to their death. They knew. I don't know that I could be that brave. To walk into a building as big as that one to put out a fire knowing that it could collapse at any moment is the definition of heroic. Those brave firefighters deserve our unconditional love and appreciation.

So while I did not personally know anybody in the towers I know plenty who have suffered from the consequences. The men and women of our militay are serving their country and protecting our freedom so that we can sleep soundlessly knowing that we're safe.

Please take a minute to remember those who have fallen with the towers; our blessed angels. Please remember to educate your children on the events (at an appropriate age) because it bothers me to no end to hear people down talk the events that happened on that day. Please remember to appreciate the people in your lives. And most of all please remember to thank all of our servicememebers for risking their lives so that we can live ours.
EMM

Dream Believer

I am a big dreamer! Let me be clear, I'm not talking about a person who has big dreams, I mean I dream every night, without fail. 95% of the time I remember my dreams, they are vivid, dramatic, scary, funny, loving and obnoxious all at the same time. I've dreamt about everything and almost everyone I've ever know . I've woken up sweating, crying, smiling and calling friends and family to make sure they're ok. But nothing compares to these.....


My worst dreams aren't of me falling or dying. They aren't even of the ones where my friends and family are dying. To me, my worst ones are when I dream of people who are no longer with me. It's a bittersweet dream because for those few hours of shut eye I am able to spend time with them. But waking up is a cruel punishment.



There are 3 specific people I hate and love dreaming about. My Tia Nana. She is my mom's sister. She passed when I was 10 years old so all my memories of her were whimsical. Every time I dream of her I wake up sad because I barely knew her. Yet I feel like I have new memories thanks to these dreams. I mostly remember my aunt being full of life and frankly not giving a shit. She was living her life as though there was no tomorrow and enjoyed it. My cousin, her daughter, is like a sister to me and is the epitome of my aunt. From what I gather, they are two of the same. So while I never got to know my Tia Nana as well as some of my other family members, I know that being as close to my cousin as I am, is just as good

My grandfather is another. I commonly have guilt dreams about him. He passed away before I could say goodbye. Leaving tons of guilt with me. In my dreams with him he tends to be angry and still sick. I have yet to have a dream about him where he's healthy and able to walk, which is the way I remember him.

My old friend/ex Gilly. Having dreams about him are really hard. Every dream I have about him he's happy and full of life and we're always doing something fun! The reason his are so difficult for me is because I should have seen him before passing. Everyone I talk to tells me otherwise but I know I should have swallowed my pride and gone to see him. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life and these fun, energetic and so Gilly dreams remind me of that.


So even though I can't see these three wonderful people in real life, I do have my dreams. But once I wake up, reality strikes and its if they've left all over again. But since I'm a glass half full kind of woman instead of getting upset at these dreams I count them as blessings and their way of visiting me.
EMM

Oppo Zappo

Do opposites attract? Absolutely! A friend of mine was saying he likes women who are outgoing because he is very introverted. It got me thinking, do we specifically look for traits in our partner that we do not have?

I can only speak from experience. I did date my exact polar opposite. I was into academics, he was into partying. I was family oriented, he was not. I wanted a commitment he did not. The list goes on. It did not work, even in the slightest bit. This person drove me nuts! However, he did get me to try new things and experience the world in a way that I wouldn't have normally experienced it. I can't say it was always bad either because that relationship opened my eyes to his world.

Now my husband is another story. I feel like we're polar opposites in certain aspects of life. He's more outgoing than I am, I'm more religious than he is. He likes seafood, I don't. I'm closer to my family than he is with his. I love comedies, he's into horror. But when it comes down to life's core values, morals, goals, sex, how to raise our children, finances etc we are on the same page. It's a thin line of balancing opposing views and being with someone completely different than you and what you want. Our relationship makes for interesting discussions, weird arguments and passionate love.

Overall I think it's important that you find someone who can challenge you. I find that being with someone who is too similar to you can be convenient and at some points boring. Sure you have to work harder a the relationships but it's worth it in the end.
EMM

Can I Have Your Number?

I commonly ask my friends and family for blog topic ideas. My cousin brought up "worst pick up lines." All I could think of was that Mad TV sketch where that guy kept asking for a girls number at a movie theater. He complimented her up do for crying out loud! Some of my friends responded with pretty sad and funny ones. So in decided to give you my worst one ever....

My husband was deployed and my girlfriends and I were out having some drinks and dancing. A decent looking man came up to me, while sitting next to my girlfriend at a private table. He sat down, complimented my earrings asking where I got got them and how beautiful they are. To which I responded, "oh my husband gave me these" cluing him in to my relationship status. The line wasn't too bad, it's what he did after. He then turned around and asked me friend the exact same thing! Except he changed it to necklace. WTF? So weird.

I'll be honest guys. It doesn't take much to get us to talk to you. We usually like a hello my name is......what's yours? You don't need fancy bells and whistles to get our attention. As long as you can keep up a conversation your ok in our books. Shoot a guy friend of mine goes up to girls and says "Can I just say you are definitely the baddest bitch in here" with a sexy tone and confidence and girls swoon! So if you plan on going for women with lame pick up lines please remember....we've either heard them, hate them and almost always walk away from them!
EMM

Idiosyncratic Confessions

My friend Neil inspired me to write a list of things about myself. Only because he had such a cool one on his blog. While at first my intention was to allow my readers to get to know me better I quickly realized this list was of things I rarely admit. I like to think of this list as things not to say when you first meet someone. My point to this is that I'm not perfect, not even close. But my flaws make me an individual, and I like me a lot.

If I'm in a car, I usually insist on driving. I don't trust anyone behind the wheel, not even my husband. It's a constant need to feel in control.

I worry too much. I'm that person who always says I love you no matter what because I know that might be the last time I see you. 

Dying does not scare me. My family and friends dying does.

I steal change. If you leave coins anywhere in my house, it will be gone.

I have a tradition to steal something from Disneyland every time I go. I swear I'm not a kleptomaniac. It's my small way of sticking it to the man.

I never give a bad driver the finger. I've been on the opposite end of that one and it hurt my feelings.

In hate cats.

I love dogs.

I love kids but typically I'm not a fan of their parents.

I prefer small gatherings with close friends to large parties with people I don't know. Or even people I do know.

Often times my husband and I are polar opposites. This leads me to believe parenting will be interesting.

My favorite time of the year is December. Not because it's my birthday, anniversary or Christmas but because I get 2 weeks off.

I also love summer for time off but I don't get presents so December wins.

Sometimes it's hard not to stereotype people.

I can't use public bathrooms for anything I cant hover over the toilet for. I avoid them like the plague.

I've regifted at least 3 times. But I see it as a sweet gesture because I know that person will use it more than me.

I like shopping for other people more than myself.

I have a hard time trusting people, which is why I drive 25 minutes to get my eyebrows waxed.

I don't like fish.

I have guilty pleasure shows which consist of...Teen Mom, Bachelor Pad and Gossip Girl. I won't stop watching them no matter how much I hate them sometimes.

I talk to my grandma almost everyday. Do you?

I have an irrational fear of dinosaurs. It's a real fear. It's called or ornithoscelidaphobia.

I've never done drugs. Ever. Not even weed.

I've also never smoked a cigarette. The one time I wanted to my husband refused me because I was drunk.

I seldom drink alcohol.

I got drunk at my wedding thanks to my brother-in-law.

I used to not be able to make a decision without asking my mom.

I write to feel better. I've kept journals all my life. This blog is a new form of self expression. Seeing so many people read it boosts my confidence.

If I wake up on my own, it's a good day. If you wake me up, you'll regret it.

I'm scared I will not be able to live without my parents.....once they go.

The Walking Dead series is how I think the world would react to a zombie invasion. I would not survive.

My mom is one of my best friends and does not take any bullshit from me. She tells me what I need to hear even if I don't want to hear it.

^ She is the reason I'm so loyal to my friends but often say things they don't wanna hear.

I fear change but find my life changing drastically every 3 years.

EMM

Slacker Dudes

I recently read an article in defense of lazy men. It of course was written by a lazy man. How lazy can he be if he wrote it, but I am almost certain it took him less time than it's taking me to write this blog.

The purpose of Matt Koff's article was to defend the slacker male. He said, we as women should stick around for men without paychecks and/or jobs because even if they're not working it doesn't mean he doesnt have ambition. He said and I quote "a guy who seems to be screwing around on his iPhone may be brainstorming killer apps of his own." I'm sorry, WHAT! When I see a grown ass man in t-shirts and flip flops playing on his iPhone at Starbucks on a Tuesday afternoon I don't think to myself "oh he must be inventing a new app, good for that working man!" I, along with other women think, he's  single and needs a job or he's a husband on vacation who needs a makeover.

I could not believe this man wanted us women to consider sticking around with a man who is lazy! We want ambitious men who work to create better lives for themselves. I also found it amusing that this man wrote the article for Cosmopolitan Magazine. That's one of the leading women's magazines in the country!

Don't get me wrong, men can have lazy moments...we all do. What men can't do is expect us to stick around while they watch tv, play video games and eat pizza all day every day. I don't care how much ambition you have! Get your ass up and go to school or get a job!
EMM