The "S" Word

Spanking definition.

verb (used with object) to strike (a person, usually a child) with the open hand, a slipper, etc., especially on the buttocks, as in punishment.

I got the idea to write about spanking because I saw the horrific video of Judge William Adams beating his disabled daughter for downloading a game onto their computer. If you haven't already seen the video, feel free to do so. I warn you it's brutal, inhumane and completely disgusting. I had a hard time watching it and I refuse to post it on my blog. Along with watching the video I heard some opinions on the issue of spanking. Some people are absolutely against any form of violence, hitting, tapping, etc to their children. Others thought a light tap here and there was appropriate. Finally, some thought that while the judge went too far, hard spanking often was appropriate.

Of course my thinking is right in the middle. I don't agree with using spanking as a regular form of discipline. However, I do think it can be the only way to get your child's attention at times. It's a last resort form of punishment in my eyes. I'm not opposed to it at all. I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine. I didn't become an aggressive person with violent outburst. The couple of times I was spanked, must have been for something extreme. Honestly, I can't remember why I was spanked those couple of times, but knowing my parents it was a last measure to reach me.

Whether you spank your kids or not, to each his own. I don't have kids, so realistically I can't say if I will or won't spank them, but I do know the difference between an attention grabbing swat, and a full on beating Judge Adams.
EMM

Text Manipulation

The idea of text manipulating is that one person (male or female) sends another person a "mistake" text to start up a conversation. "Oh I accidentally sent you that text, but now that we're talking how have you been?" I'm fairly sure I've done that before. It's thought that you tend to do this to start up that conversation with a person of interest. Here are my thoughts on texting.

I text with everyone. It seems to be the norm these days. I have a select few friends that I talk to on the phone but I can count those people on my 2 hands. I communicate with everyone else via text. That includes my boss! I mean I use texting as my sole communication with old friends, new friends, work related friends and even some family. Believe me, if it was an emergency or important I would call. My husband and I text but when we're not together we usually call one another rather than text.

To be honest, when single I never manipulated text because texting wasn't as HUGE as it is now. I feel so old saying that but in high school, sure we had cell phones but we called one another. I don't remember texting until at least my 2nd year of college. When I say texting I mean to the extreme that it is now. So sending a "fake" start up text was never an option for me. But if I were single now, I wouldn't know what to do. I'm sure I'd text gentlemen here and there but I doubt it would be to start up a conversation. I'm pretty balsy when it comes to the opposite sex so starting up a conversation wouldn't be my problem. I'm sure that sounds so cocky but I guess to me, putting myself out there is what I know. Sending the "Hi Natalie, what's up?" to a guy just to begin talking isn't really my style. Plus I guess it feels like game playing to me, which I used to avoid back in my dating days.

I guess I'm old fashioned. I would rather talk on the phone or meet up and talk than text 2000 texts in a night. It just seems so hard! I get it, it's fun to text but I really think the thrill is saying something you normally wouldn't say. People get pretty secure with themselves via text because it's an easy outlet. They don't have to deal with the person one on one. If they don't like the response, they have ample time to fix their comment or come up with an excuse that would better suit the other person. For example, I would feel more comfortable texting "Hey mom, I can't make it to your 50th birthday because I got sick. I'll make it up to you" rather than call her and feel guilty and have to come up with excuses, etc etc etc. So while I text a lot, I know what's worth a phone call or even a visit. I know the limitations of 160 characters and I keep those important messages personal.
EMM

Green with Envy

I recently watched a show about jealousy and how it can severely affect a relationship. That seemed fairly obvious to me but also made me feel like jealousy can at times be flattering. For example, if a man looks at me and my husband notices, he makes small remarks that can come across as territorial. I personally think it's cute when he does this because it's just between us. Now if my husband were to take it to an extreme, it would be a totally different story. But jealousy rarely exists in my relationship. Sure I have my moments of "I can't believe he used to date her" or "Why is he flirting with her?" but it all comes down to trust. Let me tell you, there's nobody in the world I trust more than my husband.

But when I think of my spurts of jealousy throughout my relationship only one time comes to mind. It was a situation with a girl my husband was once close with, but never actually dated. I didn't mind them being friends, even though I knew they were more than platonic friends at one point in time. I trust him and I don't see her as a threat whatsoever. Until one day, she started posting pictures of the two of them all over Facebook. I realize they weren't recent but they weren't entirely innocent either. My perspective was that his family, my family and our mutual friends could and would see them. After explaining to my husband that women who do this only do so because they seek attention from that person, I asked her politely to remove the inappropriate photos from her profile. Of course she got "butt hurt" aka upset. The reason my husband didn't ask her was because he is not one who likes confrontation. He avoids it all cost with everyone (well except me lol) and frankly, he didn't think it was a big deal at the time. She responded with a hasty email claiming my insecurities and inability to trust my husband. That was far from the truth but absolutely showed her true colors. She then deleted my husband from her friends list only proving my point that she still indeed had feelings of some sort for my husband.

The reason I use this as my one issue with jealousy is because I was jealous at the time of her because my husband didn't see the point in having those pictures removed. I thought there were mutual feelings between the two of them. I fully expect support from husband, especially when it comes to other women! So when he wasn't listening to my feelings on the matter, it bothered me and of course made me jealous of her. Now he realizes my reasons and she never comes up in our conversations.

So while jealousy can at times be cute and remind us that the other person cares do us, it can also be a deadly weapon. Just make sure it never takes over the relationship.
EMM