Generation Lazy

Knowing that my generation is considered by many older generations as "generation lazy" is upsetting to me. My parents raised me to have manners, be generous, be kind, be considerate, be grateful and of course many other characteristics. But some of the most important characteristics they taught me were to be self sufficient and hardworking. I will be the first to admit that yes, when I was in high school and younger I was blessed. My parents are both hardworking people and they gave my brother and I great lives full of many opportunities.

There are several people I know or have heard of that take full advantage of being lazy. I think most of my friends, and I would even go as far as to say most of my acquaintances on Facebook are hard workers. I think my generation works hard and realizes what it takes to make it to the top. But there are a lot of people who expect everything for nothing. People who think the world will hand them their success without working hard to get it. Clearly they will live a life of struggle. I try to surround myself with people who are self-reliant because I think it's important to take responsibility. Some people need to grow up and realize that while the world is scary, sitting on your ass is going to get you nowhere!

Then when I think of kids younger than me, I think they are spoiled rotten(for the most part). Of course there are exceptions but a majority of kids in their teenage years are disrespectful, unappreciative and depend on technology too much. I may have had some bad experiences with this age group but the responsible ones come far and few between. They are generation technology and can't have a conversation without using their thumbs. When I was writing this, I feared I would get an outrage from teenagers because they do study, work and help out around the house. Then I realized, they wouldn't even take the time out to read this so what's the point? I don't think they understand that what you write online is permanent. Sure, I write blogs, but they consist of my real opinions and I own up to them. There's nothing on here I wouldn't say to someone in person. There's nothing on here I wouldn't tell my parents, boss, friends, enemies etc. Believe me, I would say much worse on this topic but I know my limitations.

I've literally said this before and this was their exact response!

I must sound like a bitter old lady but while I went to school to study my ass off, got a good job and take care of my husband and I, there are people who instantly label our generation lazy. Honestly I think real generation lazy is pulling up behind us and I hope they pull their heads out of their asses because it won't be pretty when mommy and daddy won't be there to bail them out anymore.
EMM

Hold on to you

I always think of things to write about for my blog and I came up with one while watching a show on TV. The idea of holding onto yourself while in a relationship struck a cord with me. What I mean when I say that is making sure that I remain true to who I am before I was with that person. Keeping my core values, keeping my personal opinions, habits, traditions etc.

During a relationship in high school I at some point or another was so consumed with having a boyfriend that I lost myself. My life was all about him and us. I stopped going to family functions, I became isolated and in a sense worshiped this person. After that relationship ended my mother made me realize that having a life of my own is important. Revolving my life around another person is unhealthy.

In my marriage I feel like we have a balanced life. While having lunch with a

friend he told my husband and I that we have our own things going on, but also have a wonderful life together. It's true, my husband has school, his friends, his hobbies etc. I have my job, my friends and my hobbies as well. We make sure that we have our own time alone but have plenty of quality time together. We think it's important to have our own space. That may sound bad but we're not that couple that relies on the other being there 24/7. I don't know if it's because of deployments that we've come to understand the importance our own space but it works for us. It keeps us interesting to one another, and creates a sense of mystery and self sufficiency. I love my husband, but knowing I have Monday's to myself to do whatever I want with no interruptions is soothing and relaxing to me.

So whether your the couple who never leaves each others sight, or the couple that sleeps in separate beds everyone's different. If it works for you, it works for me.

EMM

The "S" Word

Spanking definition.

verb (used with object) to strike (a person, usually a child) with the open hand, a slipper, etc., especially on the buttocks, as in punishment.

I got the idea to write about spanking because I saw the horrific video of Judge William Adams beating his disabled daughter for downloading a game onto their computer. If you haven't already seen the video, feel free to do so. I warn you it's brutal, inhumane and completely disgusting. I had a hard time watching it and I refuse to post it on my blog. Along with watching the video I heard some opinions on the issue of spanking. Some people are absolutely against any form of violence, hitting, tapping, etc to their children. Others thought a light tap here and there was appropriate. Finally, some thought that while the judge went too far, hard spanking often was appropriate.

Of course my thinking is right in the middle. I don't agree with using spanking as a regular form of discipline. However, I do think it can be the only way to get your child's attention at times. It's a last resort form of punishment in my eyes. I'm not opposed to it at all. I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine. I didn't become an aggressive person with violent outburst. The couple of times I was spanked, must have been for something extreme. Honestly, I can't remember why I was spanked those couple of times, but knowing my parents it was a last measure to reach me.

Whether you spank your kids or not, to each his own. I don't have kids, so realistically I can't say if I will or won't spank them, but I do know the difference between an attention grabbing swat, and a full on beating Judge Adams.
EMM

Text Manipulation

The idea of text manipulating is that one person (male or female) sends another person a "mistake" text to start up a conversation. "Oh I accidentally sent you that text, but now that we're talking how have you been?" I'm fairly sure I've done that before. It's thought that you tend to do this to start up that conversation with a person of interest. Here are my thoughts on texting.

I text with everyone. It seems to be the norm these days. I have a select few friends that I talk to on the phone but I can count those people on my 2 hands. I communicate with everyone else via text. That includes my boss! I mean I use texting as my sole communication with old friends, new friends, work related friends and even some family. Believe me, if it was an emergency or important I would call. My husband and I text but when we're not together we usually call one another rather than text.

To be honest, when single I never manipulated text because texting wasn't as HUGE as it is now. I feel so old saying that but in high school, sure we had cell phones but we called one another. I don't remember texting until at least my 2nd year of college. When I say texting I mean to the extreme that it is now. So sending a "fake" start up text was never an option for me. But if I were single now, I wouldn't know what to do. I'm sure I'd text gentlemen here and there but I doubt it would be to start up a conversation. I'm pretty balsy when it comes to the opposite sex so starting up a conversation wouldn't be my problem. I'm sure that sounds so cocky but I guess to me, putting myself out there is what I know. Sending the "Hi Natalie, what's up?" to a guy just to begin talking isn't really my style. Plus I guess it feels like game playing to me, which I used to avoid back in my dating days.

I guess I'm old fashioned. I would rather talk on the phone or meet up and talk than text 2000 texts in a night. It just seems so hard! I get it, it's fun to text but I really think the thrill is saying something you normally wouldn't say. People get pretty secure with themselves via text because it's an easy outlet. They don't have to deal with the person one on one. If they don't like the response, they have ample time to fix their comment or come up with an excuse that would better suit the other person. For example, I would feel more comfortable texting "Hey mom, I can't make it to your 50th birthday because I got sick. I'll make it up to you" rather than call her and feel guilty and have to come up with excuses, etc etc etc. So while I text a lot, I know what's worth a phone call or even a visit. I know the limitations of 160 characters and I keep those important messages personal.
EMM

Green with Envy

I recently watched a show about jealousy and how it can severely affect a relationship. That seemed fairly obvious to me but also made me feel like jealousy can at times be flattering. For example, if a man looks at me and my husband notices, he makes small remarks that can come across as territorial. I personally think it's cute when he does this because it's just between us. Now if my husband were to take it to an extreme, it would be a totally different story. But jealousy rarely exists in my relationship. Sure I have my moments of "I can't believe he used to date her" or "Why is he flirting with her?" but it all comes down to trust. Let me tell you, there's nobody in the world I trust more than my husband.

But when I think of my spurts of jealousy throughout my relationship only one time comes to mind. It was a situation with a girl my husband was once close with, but never actually dated. I didn't mind them being friends, even though I knew they were more than platonic friends at one point in time. I trust him and I don't see her as a threat whatsoever. Until one day, she started posting pictures of the two of them all over Facebook. I realize they weren't recent but they weren't entirely innocent either. My perspective was that his family, my family and our mutual friends could and would see them. After explaining to my husband that women who do this only do so because they seek attention from that person, I asked her politely to remove the inappropriate photos from her profile. Of course she got "butt hurt" aka upset. The reason my husband didn't ask her was because he is not one who likes confrontation. He avoids it all cost with everyone (well except me lol) and frankly, he didn't think it was a big deal at the time. She responded with a hasty email claiming my insecurities and inability to trust my husband. That was far from the truth but absolutely showed her true colors. She then deleted my husband from her friends list only proving my point that she still indeed had feelings of some sort for my husband.

The reason I use this as my one issue with jealousy is because I was jealous at the time of her because my husband didn't see the point in having those pictures removed. I thought there were mutual feelings between the two of them. I fully expect support from husband, especially when it comes to other women! So when he wasn't listening to my feelings on the matter, it bothered me and of course made me jealous of her. Now he realizes my reasons and she never comes up in our conversations.

So while jealousy can at times be cute and remind us that the other person cares do us, it can also be a deadly weapon. Just make sure it never takes over the relationship.
EMM

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

My 16 year old niece just went through her first break up. She was having a hard time with it and we talked a few times about what she was going through. Not that I'm trying to gain from her break up but it got me thinking about how hard breaking up is. I haven't had to do it in over 6years! But that doesn't mean I don't remember the heartache that comes with one. In my opinion there are three ways to break up, you dump the person, they dump you, you break up on mutual grounds. Here are my experiences with each.

Being dumped.Tenets are many reasons someone dumps you. Another person, family, cheating, age, attraction, bad sex I mean the list goes on. I was dumped a few times. The worst one was being dumped by my first boyfriend. He broke up with me for another girl. She ended up becoming his wife so after awhile I learned to accept that being dumped for the love of his life wasn't so bad. Either way it was painful. I didn't know how to handle it and everyone seemed to have their theories. "No man is worth your tears" or. Move on!" it was nice to have support but it didn't stop the pain and humiliation it caused me.

Dumping him. I also dumped a few guys. Some for another guy, some because I lost interest. I have to say I felt the worst with one specific guy. I broke up with him and literally drove off with my new boyfriend. Wasn't my proudest moment but I blame it on my youth. I would never do that as a mature adult.

Mutual grounds. These are are those break ups where you both just move on. The attraction was lost, distance was gained, whatever the reason there tends to be no hurt feelings, no drama and you remain friends. I only remember doing this with one specific person, and he no longer talks to me. We remained friends for awhile but once I got married he seemed to have disappeared. Go figure!

While these three scenarios are different, they all have one thing in common. They suck! Breaking up sucks! Someone is such a big part of your life for months or even years and then all of a sudden they no longer exist. I found myself having a hard time comforting my niece because I haven't gone though a break up in years. In fact I don't think I've ever gone through a break up as bad as hers. I guess all she needs to know is there are few good things that come out of breakup. Growth, knowledge and memories. Which for most of us are priceless.
EMM

Let me count the ways.....

My husband is truly the best person I know. He is helpful, thoughtful, sweet, generous, friendly and so many more things. I thought it would be nice to put into word the reasons I love him and our marriage.

Whenever we decide on take out for dinner, he goes and picks it up.

Even though I go to bed earlier than him, he will lie down with me until I fall asleep.

He goes shopping with me.

We always see movies I want to see, but only occasionally see ones he wants to see.

He painted our apartment.

He wants children just as badly as I do.

He loves my family as if they were his own.

He does naked push ups right before his shower. Sometimes I think it's just so I can watch him do naked push ups

When we go swimming he always plays with me like teenagers.

He still holds my hand everywhere we go.

He cooks for me.

He gives me foot rubs every Friday night. We call them Friday night foot rubs. To be fair, he gives them to me more than that but Friday ones are special.

He puts up with Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, Revenge and every other chick show I watch.

When he was deployed he wrote me every night. Unless power was out.

He draws me, often.

He still says thank you when I give him his clean laundry to put away.

Most importantly, he treats me with respect.

I know it's uber cheesy for me to have written this but there are times that
it's important to express our love. This is just one way of doing it.
EMM

Toxic Friends

According to Shape magazine there are five types of toxic friends. In my 25 years if life I have encountered a person who resembles every single one of these. To avoid suspicion of these people, I will not give real names or if we are still friends or not.

Narcissist- Friend #1, my narcissist. He only truly cares about himself. His actions are based on whether or not he will benefit from them. He believes he his God's gift to women and can do no wrong. I don't blame him, he's never taken responsibility for anything in his life so why should he start now? To be fair, I have met several narcissist. There tend to be more than people think. However, this one specific friend of mine, is just over the top in love with himself. 

Be-littler- Friend #2, my be-littler. She is the person who will say "You would look so much prettier with this hair style". She is married with a baby and makes sure other people know how blissfully happy she is. She doesn't stop to think you could be happy with your life too because she thinks everyone wants her life.

Critic- Friend #3, my critic. She criticizes my life, husband, the fact that I don't have a child yet, my living arrangements, my clothes, my brands, I mean everything. She thinks she means well but she's more hurtful than helpful. She has a fairly prestigious job title but I have never seen her work. Due to her career she feels the need to butt into other peoples life problems.

Flake- Friend #4, my flake. Friend #4 is that person who promises you the world, but ends up flaking, on everything! Sure, I'll meet you for dinner...flake. Sure, we'll talk tomorrow...flake. Sure, I'll go to your party....flake. I mean he flakes on everything. Inviting him is a formality but we never count on him actually showing up.

Debby Downer- Friend #5, my Debbie Downer. She recently got a divorce and makes sure the whole world knows it. She always makes sure people know how sad, miserable and lonely she is, yet insist she's going out every night. When you talk to her she starts out excited but eventually needs a pity party to make it through the conversation.

As for the toxic type of friend I most resemble, it has to be the flake. I am one to stick with what I'm comfortable with. Let me also be clear a lot of our friends are out of town/state so making plans sometimes falls through. But if there's a party an hour away that I was stoked to go to Tuesday night and am now exhausted Friday night, I see nothing wrong canceling. I try to stay away from flaking on private events like lunches, girls night etc... So next time you notice these toxic characteristics creep up....tame them! You'd hate to see someone write about you on their blog!

EMM

Recycling an Ex

The idea of giving your ex another try seemed interesting to me and also an experience I can shed some light on. When asked, most of my friends said dating an ex again depends on the circumstances, the reason you broke up, age, etc etc. etc. Before I go on, please note that not all my ex's are assholes. In fact, most of are the complete opposite. I just like the ex-boyfriend picture because let us be honest, we've all done it!

Moving on, I'm looking at this in 2 ways. The first way is my experiences with dating exes twice. Technically I've gone back to 3 different exes. However, I don't consider one of them going back. I dated a guy in 8th grade and our conversions and gatherings were limited. I would even go as far as to say nonexistent. So I don't count him. I did however seriously date him again my senior year of high school. This is why technically we dated 2 separate times, but not really.

That leaves 2 exes. The first, let's call him Steve, and I dated on and off for years. It seemed like after a real breakup with a guy, he'd always be there. We didn't date seriously until about our junior year. We broke up because I found someone else. We remained friends but things were never the same. We dated again in college but it never worked out, he cheated on me, I now know several times. He is who he is and I wish I had learned years ago to let him go because it would have saved me a lot of heartache.

The other guy, let's call him Rufio, and I dated seriously in high school. He was my first love. We broke up because I was a dumbass. I never officially cheated on him but he knew I was on the road to it so he dumped me. He broke up with me the last day of school before summer vacation. We got back together right before school started again. He couldn't trust me again, no matter how hard I tried. That relationship was doomed once the idea of cheating got into his head.

These two cases are different, very different. Steve was a heartbreaker by nature but I always found myself running back to him. He was my constant throughout high school, like a security blanket for me. I would never date Steve again because now that I’m older, I am much wiser in my decision making skills. Unlike Steve, Rufio was absolutely worth the 2^nd heartbreak. He showed me what it meant to love someone and really didn't let me get away with any of my shit. He showed me my worth and how I should be treated. We're still friends and truthfully he has a dear place in my heart. Should there be a tragic accident and my husband was no longer on this earth, I would take a swing at Rufio.

The other approach I'm taking is the idealistic approach. People break up for a reason and in my opinion those reasons are usually still apparent 5, 10, 15 years down the line. Whether it’s trust issues, douchebags, mommy/daddy issues, age, marital status etc. Realistically we should walk away and stay away. If only the heart weren't involved right? We say this but rarely do this. We want to believe that the other person will change, that you're worth changing for, or that even you might change. That's not to say you aren't meant to be together. Obviously there are times when it works out and is a romantic story. Often times however, we become wiser and realize those exes are exes for a reason.

EMM

Wandering Eyes

By  looking at this picture you might be thinking I'm writing about my husband and his wandering eyes. Nope! I started catching myself looking at other women the other day. I always knew I looked at them, but didn't ever stop to think how much I actually look. This made me wonder why. Why am I checking women out, and more than men might I add. No, I'm not a lesbian. I'm not even bi-sexual...I love men. Ok I love one man specifically but in general I'm all about the men.

So I think that I look at other women for the following reasons:

1) I like her outfit in it's entirety or at least one article of clothing.

2) I think she's beautiful. There are those women who just radiate beauty and it never goes unnoticed by me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
THIS IS A MUFFIN TOP!

3) I can't believe she's wearing that! This tends to be for the muffin top clan, the fupa clan, the visible panty clan and the camel toe clan.

4) There are times I wish I had some women's body.

5) She smiles at me. I can't help but smile back :)

6) She's ugly. Ok I know as a fellow woman I should be united with all but let's face it, there are some that should really take better care of themselves.

7) She's a young mom. I can't help but observe those situations.

8) If she's confident. There are women who walk with every bit of confidence. I'm confident but there are women who walk the walk and talk the talk.

Ok, who WOULDN'T look
at these puppies?

9) She has huge boobs! If your boobs are all up in everyone's face, come on we're bound to look.

10) If she's screaming at her kids. I always look at those women in disbelief.

I'm sure there are plenty more but the other day I seriously focused on why I'm looking at women and these were my top 10 reasons. Gosh now I wonder if any of these reasons are used on me by other women......

EMM

From sailors wife....to gamers wife

I used to be the wife of a sailor. I was ready for battle when he went, I was ready for a long distance relationship, I was honored to be there supporting my sailor. Now.....

I'm the wife of a gamer. My husband was released honorably from the Navy and since then he has been in college. Since he gets a nice check from the Department of Veterans Affairs every month he decided not to get a job right away. He's studying game art and design to work for and eventually run his own game studio.

Now instead of duty, daily work, long hours, deployments, etc I deal with Call of Duty, Dead Island, Megaman, Zelda, Battlefield and many many other video games. Most women would have left my husband by now because he plays daily. Not just daily ladies, but many hours per day. He spends a lot of money on games, accessories, consoles, headsets, controllers, wires I mean the list goes on and on. But I see this as preparation for his career. I know it may sound stupid or nieve but I see his expereince with video games as plus because I know some day he will be making us a lot of money with these stupid ass games. At least he better be! Now if it were just my man playing this much for fun, I would have kicked the habit or him to the curb.

So if your husband or boyfriend is addicted to these games maybe you could convice him to go into the game industry so you can at least benefit from the thousands of hours you hear "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CAMPER!"
EMM

Remember 9/11

It's been 10 years since the tragic events of September 11th happened. I find myself glued to the television every year watching footage of what happened that day. Some people might think, "Why? It's depressing and you were alive when it happened. Not only alive, but you were 16" Here's the thing, on that day in 2001, I was not old enough or mature enough to understand how this would affect our country. Believe me, I knew it was bad, I knew it was wrong but I did not understand the pain millions of people were going through.

On that morning, I woke up to get ready for school. My mom watches the news every morning. I should say she has it on because she never watches it's really just for noise in the house. She called my name out and yelled for me to go to her room. I ran over there and saw what was happening. The first plane had hit already and we were saddened. I thought at first that it was a tragic accident. While watching we were together staring at the screen as the second plane hit the other tower. I can only imagine I reacted in shock because I really don't remember what happened next. All I know is school was scheduled and I couldn't miss. To be honest, I don't remember other students talking about it other than "Did you see what happened?" It wasn't discussed as a terrorist act at all. For the rest of the day we went from class to class continuing to watch footage of the towers. Since I was driving my brother and I to school, we didn't even know the towers had fallen. It wasn't until my 2nd period class that we were watching the news that I heard the towers fell. Even then, I assumed everyone got out ok. Little did I know.

Every year that the anniversary comes up, I cry more than the year before. I pray harder than the year before. I feel pain more than the year before. I think what gets me most is knowing that people jumped to their freedom. They saw no way out and took their lives into their own hands. They made the ultimate decision to get it over with because they knew it was between that, burning alive, or being crushed to death by thousands of pounds of steel. There wasn't any hope for them. It hurts my heart to think what those innocent hardworking people had to go through. On top of that the families of the victims must have felt a pain like no other. They are a part of history now.

Then there are the firefighters. During a clip of a documentary of 9/11 I was listening to a survivor speak. He said the worst part wasn't the smoke, death, fire, heat, walking down 90 floors of stairs, dehydration, fear, sadness or pain it was looking into the eyes of the brave firefighters who KNEW they were climbing to their death. They knew. I don't know that I could be that brave. To walk into a building as big as that one to put out a fire knowing that it could collapse at any moment is the definition of heroic. Those brave firefighters deserve our unconditional love and appreciation.

So while I did not personally know anybody in the towers I know plenty who have suffered from the consequences. The men and women of our militay are serving their country and protecting our freedom so that we can sleep soundlessly knowing that we're safe.

Please take a minute to remember those who have fallen with the towers; our blessed angels. Please remember to educate your children on the events (at an appropriate age) because it bothers me to no end to hear people down talk the events that happened on that day. Please remember to appreciate the people in your lives. And most of all please remember to thank all of our servicememebers for risking their lives so that we can live ours.
EMM

Dream Believer

I am a big dreamer! Let me be clear, I'm not talking about a person who has big dreams, I mean I dream every night, without fail. 95% of the time I remember my dreams, they are vivid, dramatic, scary, funny, loving and obnoxious all at the same time. I've dreamt about everything and almost everyone I've ever know . I've woken up sweating, crying, smiling and calling friends and family to make sure they're ok. But nothing compares to these.....


My worst dreams aren't of me falling or dying. They aren't even of the ones where my friends and family are dying. To me, my worst ones are when I dream of people who are no longer with me. It's a bittersweet dream because for those few hours of shut eye I am able to spend time with them. But waking up is a cruel punishment.



There are 3 specific people I hate and love dreaming about. My Tia Nana. She is my mom's sister. She passed when I was 10 years old so all my memories of her were whimsical. Every time I dream of her I wake up sad because I barely knew her. Yet I feel like I have new memories thanks to these dreams. I mostly remember my aunt being full of life and frankly not giving a shit. She was living her life as though there was no tomorrow and enjoyed it. My cousin, her daughter, is like a sister to me and is the epitome of my aunt. From what I gather, they are two of the same. So while I never got to know my Tia Nana as well as some of my other family members, I know that being as close to my cousin as I am, is just as good

My grandfather is another. I commonly have guilt dreams about him. He passed away before I could say goodbye. Leaving tons of guilt with me. In my dreams with him he tends to be angry and still sick. I have yet to have a dream about him where he's healthy and able to walk, which is the way I remember him.

My old friend/ex Gilly. Having dreams about him are really hard. Every dream I have about him he's happy and full of life and we're always doing something fun! The reason his are so difficult for me is because I should have seen him before passing. Everyone I talk to tells me otherwise but I know I should have swallowed my pride and gone to see him. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life and these fun, energetic and so Gilly dreams remind me of that.


So even though I can't see these three wonderful people in real life, I do have my dreams. But once I wake up, reality strikes and its if they've left all over again. But since I'm a glass half full kind of woman instead of getting upset at these dreams I count them as blessings and their way of visiting me.
EMM

Oppo Zappo

Do opposites attract? Absolutely! A friend of mine was saying he likes women who are outgoing because he is very introverted. It got me thinking, do we specifically look for traits in our partner that we do not have?

I can only speak from experience. I did date my exact polar opposite. I was into academics, he was into partying. I was family oriented, he was not. I wanted a commitment he did not. The list goes on. It did not work, even in the slightest bit. This person drove me nuts! However, he did get me to try new things and experience the world in a way that I wouldn't have normally experienced it. I can't say it was always bad either because that relationship opened my eyes to his world.

Now my husband is another story. I feel like we're polar opposites in certain aspects of life. He's more outgoing than I am, I'm more religious than he is. He likes seafood, I don't. I'm closer to my family than he is with his. I love comedies, he's into horror. But when it comes down to life's core values, morals, goals, sex, how to raise our children, finances etc we are on the same page. It's a thin line of balancing opposing views and being with someone completely different than you and what you want. Our relationship makes for interesting discussions, weird arguments and passionate love.

Overall I think it's important that you find someone who can challenge you. I find that being with someone who is too similar to you can be convenient and at some points boring. Sure you have to work harder a the relationships but it's worth it in the end.
EMM

Can I Have Your Number?

I commonly ask my friends and family for blog topic ideas. My cousin brought up "worst pick up lines." All I could think of was that Mad TV sketch where that guy kept asking for a girls number at a movie theater. He complimented her up do for crying out loud! Some of my friends responded with pretty sad and funny ones. So in decided to give you my worst one ever....

My husband was deployed and my girlfriends and I were out having some drinks and dancing. A decent looking man came up to me, while sitting next to my girlfriend at a private table. He sat down, complimented my earrings asking where I got got them and how beautiful they are. To which I responded, "oh my husband gave me these" cluing him in to my relationship status. The line wasn't too bad, it's what he did after. He then turned around and asked me friend the exact same thing! Except he changed it to necklace. WTF? So weird.

I'll be honest guys. It doesn't take much to get us to talk to you. We usually like a hello my name is......what's yours? You don't need fancy bells and whistles to get our attention. As long as you can keep up a conversation your ok in our books. Shoot a guy friend of mine goes up to girls and says "Can I just say you are definitely the baddest bitch in here" with a sexy tone and confidence and girls swoon! So if you plan on going for women with lame pick up lines please remember....we've either heard them, hate them and almost always walk away from them!
EMM

Idiosyncratic Confessions

My friend Neil inspired me to write a list of things about myself. Only because he had such a cool one on his blog. While at first my intention was to allow my readers to get to know me better I quickly realized this list was of things I rarely admit. I like to think of this list as things not to say when you first meet someone. My point to this is that I'm not perfect, not even close. But my flaws make me an individual, and I like me a lot.

If I'm in a car, I usually insist on driving. I don't trust anyone behind the wheel, not even my husband. It's a constant need to feel in control.

I worry too much. I'm that person who always says I love you no matter what because I know that might be the last time I see you. 

Dying does not scare me. My family and friends dying does.

I steal change. If you leave coins anywhere in my house, it will be gone.

I have a tradition to steal something from Disneyland every time I go. I swear I'm not a kleptomaniac. It's my small way of sticking it to the man.

I never give a bad driver the finger. I've been on the opposite end of that one and it hurt my feelings.

In hate cats.

I love dogs.

I love kids but typically I'm not a fan of their parents.

I prefer small gatherings with close friends to large parties with people I don't know. Or even people I do know.

Often times my husband and I are polar opposites. This leads me to believe parenting will be interesting.

My favorite time of the year is December. Not because it's my birthday, anniversary or Christmas but because I get 2 weeks off.

I also love summer for time off but I don't get presents so December wins.

Sometimes it's hard not to stereotype people.

I can't use public bathrooms for anything I cant hover over the toilet for. I avoid them like the plague.

I've regifted at least 3 times. But I see it as a sweet gesture because I know that person will use it more than me.

I like shopping for other people more than myself.

I have a hard time trusting people, which is why I drive 25 minutes to get my eyebrows waxed.

I don't like fish.

I have guilty pleasure shows which consist of...Teen Mom, Bachelor Pad and Gossip Girl. I won't stop watching them no matter how much I hate them sometimes.

I talk to my grandma almost everyday. Do you?

I have an irrational fear of dinosaurs. It's a real fear. It's called or ornithoscelidaphobia.

I've never done drugs. Ever. Not even weed.

I've also never smoked a cigarette. The one time I wanted to my husband refused me because I was drunk.

I seldom drink alcohol.

I got drunk at my wedding thanks to my brother-in-law.

I used to not be able to make a decision without asking my mom.

I write to feel better. I've kept journals all my life. This blog is a new form of self expression. Seeing so many people read it boosts my confidence.

If I wake up on my own, it's a good day. If you wake me up, you'll regret it.

I'm scared I will not be able to live without my parents.....once they go.

The Walking Dead series is how I think the world would react to a zombie invasion. I would not survive.

My mom is one of my best friends and does not take any bullshit from me. She tells me what I need to hear even if I don't want to hear it.

^ She is the reason I'm so loyal to my friends but often say things they don't wanna hear.

I fear change but find my life changing drastically every 3 years.

EMM

Slacker Dudes

I recently read an article in defense of lazy men. It of course was written by a lazy man. How lazy can he be if he wrote it, but I am almost certain it took him less time than it's taking me to write this blog.

The purpose of Matt Koff's article was to defend the slacker male. He said, we as women should stick around for men without paychecks and/or jobs because even if they're not working it doesn't mean he doesnt have ambition. He said and I quote "a guy who seems to be screwing around on his iPhone may be brainstorming killer apps of his own." I'm sorry, WHAT! When I see a grown ass man in t-shirts and flip flops playing on his iPhone at Starbucks on a Tuesday afternoon I don't think to myself "oh he must be inventing a new app, good for that working man!" I, along with other women think, he's  single and needs a job or he's a husband on vacation who needs a makeover.

I could not believe this man wanted us women to consider sticking around with a man who is lazy! We want ambitious men who work to create better lives for themselves. I also found it amusing that this man wrote the article for Cosmopolitan Magazine. That's one of the leading women's magazines in the country!

Don't get me wrong, men can have lazy moments...we all do. What men can't do is expect us to stick around while they watch tv, play video games and eat pizza all day every day. I don't care how much ambition you have! Get your ass up and go to school or get a job!
EMM

Bad Boys

A male friend of mine recently asked me if girls like assholes. I was quick to respond that in my opinion we like bad boys not assholes. I constantly hear men complaining that women want assholes, bad boys, nice guys finish last blah blah blah! So I've decided to write about why women tend to lean towards the bad boys, at least from my perspective.

The difference between a bad boy and an asshole is clear. A asshole belittles women, isn't considerate, is rude, immature and selfish. A bad boy is a man who dislikes authority, is protective, maybe a little wild and confident (at times even arrogant).

Men, women want this type of man because they are drawn to men who can take care of them and protect them. We want someone who is interesting and never boring. Sure they may only tell us what we want to hear but that's the beauty of being with this type of man. Men often complain that nice guys finish last and its' true. Women will leave a nice guy if the bad boy is making her feel like a woman. But realistically, most bad boys don't last. They're fun and interesting but they either turn into a nice guy, or get dumped. So be patient guys.
EMM

Pretty woman, walking down the street

It's completely natural for men to gander at other beautiful women. I'd be lying if I said I didn't look too. Realistically I think women check other women out just as much. For different reasons, unless your into the ladies. But I think women look at other women because we compare ourselves to them, we envy them, we admire them or we're talking shit about their outfit. Either way we look too. But.......

Men look because they're checking out their rack, ass, legs, whatever! Mu husband and I were walking into Ralph's in Sunday when this good looking 40ish woman walks out in a tiny dress with her (pretty nice and large) boobies flaunting everywhere. Of course I looked. HOW COULD YOU NOT! As we passed her I said to my hubby, "Did you see those? Jees!" To which he calmly responded "See what baby?" Oh so coy my husband! I know he saw them...he had to have seen them. He did say after that he saw them. We continued our conversation with questions about their authenticity. My internal question was, why did he lie? Was he ashamed, being considerate of me, embarrassed, what?

I never asked him but I really think he was just being considerate. He would never bring up another woman's breast unless I started the conversation. I have to say that in itself is pretty sweet. So even though I know for a fact my husband looks at other women, at least I know he's considerate enough not to flaunt it, make it obvious or disrespect me in the process.
EMM

The Dilemmas

The Dilemma

Just watched the movie "The Dilemma" and it brought up the question...would you tell your best friend if his/her boyfriend/girlfriend was cheating on them? I don't know who wrote this movie but Vince Vaughan could have save himself a lot of trouble by just telling his bf about the cheating. He went out of his way to get any form of proof. Sure the wife said it was her word against his but if she really was cheating then it shouldn't matter. When I asked friends they all said absolutely! Here's the other dilemma....would you tell your best friend's significant other if your best friend was the one cheating? I think that's a harder question.

Personally, I think of my best friend and absolutely would tell her any information I had. I would initially go to her boyfriend and give him the chance to come clean. Should he refuse I would go to her. I would do this for everyone I care for, family and friends.

Now for the other dilemma....hell no! I mean I love my best friend's boyfriend but it's not my place. Here's the thing, I have several couple friends and I care about both sexes very much. If the man or woman was cheating I would confront the cheater and if it came down to it...tell both. But if it came to my best friend and having to air her dirty laundry I don't think I could. Not to say I would condone it, approve of it or see her in a different light but I love her enough to keep her secret.

I asked my best friend and she would absolutely tell me. I know she would, and I would probably believe her. She also said she wouldn't tell my husband if i was the one cheating. It's always nice to know we have each other's backs.
EMM

Does Grandma know best?

I was on the phone with my grandmother this afternoon and out of the blue she says to me “Mija, you have to keep your husband happy so he doesn’t get happy somewhere else.” She continued going on about how she’s not just referring to sex. She thinks women should always look their best, keep well groomed, dress appropriately, cook, clean, bear children, be social, and stay on top of it in the bedroom. WOW! I didn’t respond with much because let’s face it…you can’t teach an old lady new tricks (sorry I refuse to call my grandmother a dog).

Thinking about this and knowing immediately I had to put it into blog, all I could think of was if this is still the standard men have for women these days. Do men want a woman who can do it all? Of course they do right? Men want a woman who is and always will be slim even after bearing children. They want a Mary Poppins-ish chef, who whistles while she dusts. They also want a woman who can contribute financially and to top it off get freaky in the bedroom DAILY! Now men, don‘t say otherwise because if your current wife/girlfriend was all of the above I doubt you’d complain! Sure you may not seek this “ideal” woman, but you wouldn’t avoid her either.

While that breed of women exists somewhere I can guarantee you she’s rare. I can only compare that type of woman to myself. I consider myself traditional when it comes to gender roles. While my husband was in the military I considered myself a full time student housewife. That “ideal” woman I mentioned up there was not too far off from what I was. As time goes on though, things change. Our roles as husband and wife changed as well. Now I work full time and he’s at home a lot of the time. It doesn’t make sense to either one of us for me to slave when I get home if he’s been here all day. Luckily I married a man who could care less about those gender roles.

I’ve written about something similar to this but I’m not talking about gender roles here. I’m talking about men wanting someone who can do it all and not complain. I think men would be quick to argue with me on this but I also think that those men aren’t being honest. I truly believe that if men had women who fit that mold, they would be happy. Although I have to say to my grandmother’s initial point….she was like this and they still ended up divorced. So maybe grandma doesn't know best. It’s clearly more about just being the ideal woman for your ideal man.

That's a deal-breaker!

My experience with men is pretty wide. What I mean is I’ve had serious relationships, not so serious relationships and friendships with men of all types. A deal breaker for me means that man has a quality that is against me in general. It can be as important as religion or as miniscule as teeth. For the sake of this blog, I’m going to keep it light and go with the little things I couldn’t deal with in my past.

There were really only 2 guys in my past that had items on my deal breaker list which is why we never dated. One guy had 2 lazy eyes. I know it’s so small and pathetic but can you really be with a person who always looks so depressed? I didn’t realize at the time the real reason I didn’t like him. I thought I just wasn’t attracted to him, but thinking about it I now know it was his lazy eyes. My other experience was with a guy I genuinely liked. We talked every day, saw each other at school and we were both really into each other. One day we kissed, and that was the end of it. He was a horrible kisser! Way too sloppy for me. I still talk to this guy occasionally but to this day he doesn’t know how I really feel about his kissing methods.

Since I’ve gone ahead and written about 2 of my deal breakers, I should go on record telling you why one guy broke up with me. It wasn’t a serious relationship to begin with and to be honest I think he was looking for a way out. He broke up with me because…my toes looked like fingers! To this day I still am self-conscience about my toes. I’m constantly asking my husband if my feel look ok and I always make sure my nails are done. Realistically I know my toes look fine, but because of that one statement I make sure they REALLY are fine. Because of this guy, I never said any of my deal breakers to other men. I would never want another person to feel like I do about my toes about their eyes or kissing methods. So for now, they stay anonymous. If you know me, have fun guessing!

EMM

Save password?

My husband and I have been together for 6 years now. In the beginning, we had our own accounts for everything. Cell phones, myspace, facebook, email, bank etc. Eventually when we got married we had to combine our separate lives into a marriage. About 25 days after we got married, he was shipped off. During those 25 days we had a lot of paperwork to fill out through the military. I mean I had to adapt quickly to the married life because should something happen to him, I needed to know how to handle the military. That fear is what lead to the discussion of passwords.

I have all of my husband’s passwords when it comes to the important things. I don’t know his magazine subscription password or random website passwords. I mean bank accounts, GI bill, school finances, email etc. To be honest when it comes to his schooling and how the government is paying for it, I might as well be the student. He has all of my passwords as well. It’s a necessity when the government is involved. Now email, there really is no need for us to have each other’s but it’s also nothing we ever thought about. We have nothing to hide but on that same level of respect I seriously doubt he ever checks my email. I don’t check his unless it has to do with student loans.

I don’t think it’s a big deal. Some people find it completely disrespectful for another to have their password. To those people I would say “what are you hiding?” I understand not everyone is hiding something it’s more of a personal matter. I personally don’t see an issue with this. In fact one of my friends said if her husband refused to give her a password if she asked for it, she would raise an eyebrow. I agree. At this point in our marriage it would be a little weird not to hand it over should I ask. All in all I think married couples tend to share them with each other knowing it’s for convenience, necessity (in some cases) and just easier.

EMM

Cheater cheater pumpkin eater

Have you ever been cheated on? It’s a very personal question, I know. I also know that if somebody were to ask me I would definitely answer with the truth…HELL YES! Who hasn’t these days right? I mean in my past I have been cheated on by different guys. It always hurt and took a piece of my heart. Now I realize the guys who meant the most to me didn’t hurt me at all.

My first experience with cheating was with my first real boyfriend. We were together for about 1 year when I found out he was cheating on me with his step-sister at the time. Long story short, their parents separated and they got married. In the long run I was super happy for them because at least if he cheated on me, it was with the love of his life. I was pissed when I found out, but it ended up not being that big of a deal in my life.

The worst experience I had was with a different ex-boyfriend. He and I had been dating on and off for years. We were close friends before ever dating so I knew who he was as a person. He cheated on me several times. Of course I never had any proof because we went to different schools so I played the dumb-ass naive girlfriend letting it slide. That is until I finally had proof. I got the other girls phone number from his cell phone and called her. My intention was to scream at her and get some anger off my chest. But as the conversation went on, I found out she had no idea who I was. Mind you, she lived in another state! I explained the situation and we both broke up with him. She and I still keep in contact every so often.

My point is, I’ve been cheated on and cheated on others. It’s not my proudest confession but there it is. I can’t sit here and be a hypocrite talking crap about guys who have hurt me when I know I’ve hurt some in my time. Not the ones I really cared about, but in general I know I wasn’t a saint when I was younger. Overall, I think that it’s more common for men to cheat on women. It’s easier for them and they’re less emotionally involved. Of course that’s just my opinion…

EMM

Do we really want a man's man?

I heard on one of those talk shows about a new book that came out. I completely forgot the title but I know the concept of the book. It was basically a guide for men on how to be manly men. The author suggested that all women want a manly man. Some of the teachings in this book were for how to start a fire, how to grill, how to use a compass, how to carry a woman over your shoulder and how to build shelter. These are just a few I remembered, there were some that are completely unnecessary. This got me thinking about what women want. I realize that’s a loaded question, but I wanted to know if women really want that MANLY MAN type. So I asked.

Only one of my female friends said she doesn’t care. She knows how to take care of herself so she doesn’t need her husband to fix things or take care of things. To which her husband responded with an “Ouch, you took my man card.” All the other responses were from men pretty much emphasizing that they were in fact manly.

Since none of my lady friends really answered the question, I’m going to have to insert only my personal opinions on this issue. I think women want a manly man, who can take care of them. We want a man who is financially stable, can protect us and our children and admit to his mistakes. To me, that’s a manly man. If a man can fix my car and mow my lawn but be a dead beat dad, I’d move on to the next one.

This guide that shows men how to be manly just proves to me that what men see as masculine and what women see as masculine are not exactly the same. I think men think being “manly” means fixing things, fighting, eating meat, watching the game, drinking beer etc. Women think it’s the way a man carries himself in life. Does he take care of himself? Is he educated? Does he work? Is he a family man? Can he take care of me?

I asked my husband if he thought he was manly and he said yes. To which I responded he’s manly enough. That may sound bad but I meant it on his terms. He doesn’t watch sports, or change my oil. He doesn’t eat steak every night and drink a cold one. What he does do is take care of me, protect me, stand up for me, support me, cooks for me and most of all is there for me. Sure he can read a compass, and start a fire but in my book he’s twice the man than those who need to follow the guide of being a manly man.

EMM