The idea of giving your ex another try seemed interesting to me and also an experience I can shed some light on. When asked, most of my friends said dating an ex again depends on the circumstances, the reason you broke up, age, etc etc. etc. Before I go on, please note that not all my ex's are assholes. In fact, most of are the complete opposite. I just like the ex-boyfriend picture because let us be honest, we've all done it!
Moving on, I'm looking at this in 2 ways. The first way is my experiences with dating exes twice. Technically I've gone back to 3 different exes. However, I don't consider one of them going back. I dated a guy in 8th grade and our conversions and gatherings were limited. I would even go as far as to say nonexistent. So I don't count him. I did however seriously date him again my senior year of high school. This is why technically we dated 2 separate times, but not really.
That leaves 2 exes. The first, let's call him Steve, and I dated on and off for years. It seemed like after a real breakup with a guy, he'd always be there. We didn't date seriously until about our junior year. We broke up because I found someone else. We remained friends but things were never the same. We dated again in college but it never worked out, he cheated on me, I now know several times. He is who he is and I wish I had learned years ago to let him go because it would have saved me a lot of heartache.
The other guy, let's call him Rufio, and I dated seriously in high school. He was my first love. We broke up because I was a dumbass. I never officially cheated on him but he knew I was on the road to it so he dumped me. He broke up with me the last day of school before summer vacation. We got back together right before school started again. He couldn't trust me again, no matter how hard I tried. That relationship was doomed once the idea of cheating got into his head.
These two cases are different, very different. Steve was a heartbreaker by nature but I always found myself running back to him. He was my constant throughout high school, like a security blanket for me. I would never date Steve again because now that I’m older, I am much wiser in my decision making skills. Unlike Steve, Rufio was absolutely worth the 2nd heartbreak. He showed me what it meant to love someone and really didn't let me get away with any of my shit. He showed me my worth and how I should be treated. We're still friends and truthfully he has a dear place in my heart. Should there be a tragic accident and my husband was no longer on this earth, I would take a swing at Rufio.
The other approach I'm taking is the idealistic approach. People break up for a reason and in my opinion those reasons are usually still apparent 5, 10, 15 years down the line. Whether it’s trust issues, douchebags, mommy/daddy issues, age, marital status etc. Realistically we should walk away and stay away. If only the heart weren't involved right? We say this but rarely do this. We want to believe that the other person will change, that you're worth changing for, or that even you might change. That's not to say you aren't meant to be together. Obviously there are times when it works out and is a romantic story. Often times however, we become wiser and realize those exes are exes for a reason.
EMM
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