Happy Medium

As it turns out I am a big, no HUGE, fan of mediums. I watched every episode of the show "Medium" I watch "Long Island Medium" and almost all shows relating to communicating with the dead. I find it interesting; most likely because I have lost a LOT of people in my life. A close girlfriend of mine recently went to a medium to try and communicate with her father who passed several years ago. She was fairly young when she lost him and I'm sure felt the need to receive closure. I was so interested in the topic I probably annoyed her with too many questions about her experience. See, I have been wanting for years to go to a medium. My fear is losing my money and losing my faith. There are so many scams out there and I am the type of person who would believe everything they say. So part of me knows I have a gullible side, and that's mostly what's holding me back. After she shared her experience with me, I really got on the search for a reliable medium in the Orange County area. I found a few that seemed legit. I have to do a bit more research but I decided I will get a reading sooner rather than later!

I'm sure you all have your own personal beliefs about this, whether you're for or against it. Maybe religious beliefs, personal beliefs or personal experiences. My feelings are that I am open to the experience. I am open to hearing what any of my loved ones have to say. I am open to it all; the good the bad and the ugly. There are so many unanswered questions I have for several of my lost loved ones. My girlfriend said "My life is changed forever" and I really believe her. Why would she lie to me? I'm not looking to have my life changed necessarily but I am looking to get closure with some of my lost friends and family. I am mostly interested in talking with them because I miss them so much.

So after I have my own reading (which could take months or years before I get an appointment) I will absolutely share my experience with you all. Maybe it will help you find relief from your own grief or maybe it will confirm your thoughts that I am crazy! Either way after talking to my friend, I know this is for me. Wish me luck!
EMM

Happy Mother's Day Mom

My beautiful mother and I

Due to some work responsibilities I couldn't go down to visit my mother this year for mother's day. It saddened me, and her as well but I don't really need a day for her to know how much she means to me. I did however think it would be sweet to write my next blog about her and to her, just to remind her how much she means to me. 

Playing, circa 1986-1987

My mom and I haven't always seen eye to eye. In fact up until I was nearly an adult I was always a daddy's girl. She was the disciplinarian in our household and was a strict parent. That lead me to have a better relationship with my father growing up. He just treated me like a princess, which absolutely sounded better than being grounded or in trouble. But then at about 17 or so that shifted. My mom and I became best friends. I don't know if I changed or if she did but we became very close.

Clearly not wanting her picture taken
1990-1991

Once we began having this blessed mother/daughter relationship I started to notice her wonderful qualities. *Please note, she always portrayed these qualities I was just too young and stubborn to notice them* My mom is one of a kind. She is full of love, kindness and generosity. It is because of her (and my dad) that I am the woman I am today. I remember in high school, my mom was reading my senior yearbook. She started tearing up, so of coarse I inquired. She said to me "Look at all the wonderful things people are saying to you and about you." What she may not have realized at that moment was that they were paying tribute to her good doing. My mother has taught me everything I know, she is all that I am and all that I hope to one day be. Sure she has her flaws, as we all do. But there is nobody in the world like her.

We were both brace face!

Recently my mom has been going through a lot, and that's putting it lightly. But through it all she's always assured me that she loves me, supports me, and will always be there for me. I knew that would never change but even though she was going through the rough time, I was still a priority. In my entire life she has always made me a priority. Obviously to me this is a given, I mean she is my mother and I am her daughter. But to know my entire life, no matter how mad I was at times, I could always count on her is a blessing I do not take for granted. My mother has a distinct way of making me (and anyone really) feel like what I do, say and share is important. I can't thank her enough for teaching me that my voice is important.

Mom, you know how much I love you. I am so proud of the woman you are becoming and I really never thought I would say that. Not so much because I didn't think I would ever be proud of you, but because I thought you were already the best version of yourself. Now I see clearly that you are becoming the best version of yourself. I am excited to see what the future hold for our family and our relationship. Thank you for always supporting my decisions, my ambitions and my life. You are the epitome of what it is to be a wonderful mother. Thank you for showing me my way, for teaching me to love and be loved and for giving me the power to be a strong woman. I love you more than you'll ever know.

I also want to take a minute to thank all the women in my life who are or at one point in my life were distant mothers to me. As I'm sure you all know, being a mother doesn't necessarily mean you have to have given birth to a child. These are the women who love me like their own and showed me support throughout my life. Some I see often, others I see on occasion, some I haven't seen in years! It doesn't matter to me though, because at some time during my 26 years of life, these remarkable women provided me with support, love and advice like you couldn't believe. Thank you to all of you ladies for helping me grow into the woman I am today. My grandmothers Tita and Mama Carmela, Tia Yolanda, Tia Karen, my godmother Nina, Tia Licha, Tia Tere, Tia Julia, Tia Coco, Tia Angelica, Tia Blanca, Ruth, Laura, Janice and Kim. While I didn't have pictures of all of you, I hope you all have a wonderful mother's day and know that I dedicate this post to my mother, but all of you as well. I love you all.

EMM

Cohabitation

I heard a statistic that kind of blew my mind and thought I'd share it with you all. Apparently it is in your favor not to live with your significant other before marriage. 57% of couples lasted 20 years or more if they didn't live together before marriage. This is compared o 47% of couples who lasted that long living together prior to their nuptials. I thought in modern days couples live together before marriage to find out if they are compatible on a whole new level. I would think they find the issues early on and determine if marriage is a good or bad decision with that specific person. Why do you think this is not the case? I mean, if you live together moving out is much easier than divorcing. I assume most people who live together before marriage make a better life choice with that person knowing them on a more personal level than those who don't live together before marriage. My only reasoning for this statistic is that those who don't move in together before marriage tend to be more traditional in nature and in life. To me, this means they are less likely to divorce their partner period. Living together first isn't a crazy idea but it definitely is more modern. Modern couples, I feel, are less likely to stay in a marriage for the sake of appearances or other's happiness. Of coarse, this is just my opinion.

In my case, I didn't live with my husband until after we were married. We didn't have the choice because we were in a long distance relationship. Heck, we didn't actually start living together until about year 3 of our marriage due to the military separation. We technically had an apartment together, but he was only really there on weekends. However, if living together before marriage was an option I honestly think we would have taken it. In the beginning stages of your committed relationship you want to be with that person 24/7, so living together is an answer to your prayers. That being said, I don't believe in spending every waking minute with your significant other. Before our wedding, we had our individual lives and interest stay a priority because what's the point of losing yourself? Don't get me wrong every weekend I had available I'd drive 6 hours to see him, but if we missed a couple of weeks it didn't hurt our relationship.

I'm not opposed to either idea, what works for you works for me. I just want more marriages to last 20+ years period!
EMM