I always think of things to write about for my blog and I came up with one while watching a show on TV. The idea of holding onto yourself while in a relationship struck a cord with me. What I mean when I say that is making sure that I remain true to who I am before I was with that person. Keeping my core values, keeping my personal opinions, habits, traditions etc.
During a relationship in high school I at some point or another was so consumed with having a boyfriend that I lost myself. My life was all about him and us. I stopped going to family functions, I became isolated and in a sense worshiped this person. After that relationship ended my mother made me realize that having a life of my own is important. Revolving my life around another person is unhealthy.
In my marriage I feel like we have a balanced life. While having lunch with a
friend he told my husband and I that we have our own things going on, but also have a wonderful life together. It's true, my husband has school, his friends, his hobbies etc. I have my job, my friends and my hobbies as well. We make sure that we have our own time alone but have plenty of quality time together. We think it's important to have our own space. That may sound bad but we're not that couple that relies on the other being there 24/7. I don't know if it's because of deployments that we've come to understand the importance our own space but it works for us. It keeps us interesting to one another, and creates a sense of mystery and self sufficiency. I love my husband, but knowing I have Monday's to myself to do whatever I want with no interruptions is soothing and relaxing to me.
So whether your the couple who never leaves each others sight, or the couple that sleeps in separate beds everyone's different. If it works for you, it works for me.
EMM
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