True Colors

As most of you who read my blog know, this time last year my parents separated and are now divorcing. Over the course of 2012 I gained insight and knowledge on the man my father really is. Let me be clear, in my opinion he's not a good person.

I've struggled with the idea of writing about my father because to be honest, it isn't anybody's business and it's not my place to shout out to the world who he really is. However, part of me feels like he's living this care free life on my mother's dime without any repercussion for his misdoings. So while I think everyone deserves to know about the man he is, I won't be the person to tell you.

So why write about this EMM? Well I decided to write about the reality of parents and how as we get older, we understand them better. It wasn't until I became an adult that I realized my parents were human and they made mistakes just like everybody else. It wasn't until last year that I even considered never speaking to a parent again. Growing up your parents always say "No matter what you do, I will always love you." I held that dear to my heart because it gave me a sense of security and comfort. I always thought the same about them, but I never imagined my love would be challenged by my father's actions. The thing is, I still love my father; of course I do. Although he has not been in my life for the last 7 months and will no longer be an active member in my life he's still my dad.

Growing up I adored my dad. I was the epitome of "daddy's little girl" he could do no wrong in my eyes. How could someone I knew so well, cherished so much, loved dearly be someone I don't even know anymore? On the other hand, my mother has proven to be the strongest woman I will ever know. She has taught me what it is like to take the high road because over the last year she has definitely done that on several occasions. So through getting to know who my parents really are my father was someone I could no longer have in my life but my mother was an inspiration.

The reality for me is while I can forgive mistakes, it doesn't change who my father is. So the point of this blog is to express that even if you're close to your parents, things can change. They show their true colors and sometimes that's a wonderful thing, and sometimes it makes you lose a parent. I sometimes wish I could go back to being naive but the truth of the matter is life isn't really worth it if you aren't being true to yourself and the ones you love. So while I became aware of who my parents really are, particularly my dad, and last year was one road block after another, life is as it should be...truthful.
EMM