Court Me, Dammit!

I was visiting my family last weekend and instead of "How have you been?" or "What's new EMM?" I got an astounding number of "Why haven't you been writing in your blog? You need to keep up on that missy." Well shit....I'm sorry! I then proceeded to tell them I haven't been as motivated to write because I don't have very interesting topics. They all started yelling out their ideas and while I appreciate their input, I think I have a better idea of what my audience wants, and that includes them!

I decided to write about courtship. For those of you who don't know what this is, listen up! Courtship is the act of "wooing" your partner. This could be at the beginning stages of your developing relationship (and for most people that's when it happens most) or it can be a man romancing his wife after 20 years of marriage. Either way, I find it important in any relationship especially if you've been together awhile.

3 months in...

WHO DOES THIS?!?

Your career is at it's peak. You spend weekends with friends and family, living it up on your own. All you are responsible for is yourself. The man brings you flowers, surprises you with a get-away, brings you soup when you're sick, etc...The sex is new and amazing and often. Everything you do, you want to do together. You have all the time in the world to spend with one another and life is blissful!





10 years later....

You have 3 kids under the age of 5, work, soccer practice, school plays, walking the dogs, bake sales, conference calls, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, car wash, laundry, cook dinner, change diapers it's NEVERENDING! Sex? Shit I should schedule that in next week.

Some people think the spark is gone and you basically are roommates. In some cases, ok in a lot of cases, that may be the case. While I think too many people are quick to jump into divorce, I understand where they are coming from. I think what more marriages in the world could use is courtship. Both men and women need to become more in tune with what their partner needs and desires. I'm not just talking about sex, I'm talking about the act of doing something considerate for your partner. I am constantly bugging my husband to be romantic and it's not because I think our marriage is lacking in any specific way, I (and I believe most women) just want to know that we are being considered and thought of. Don't go spend hundreds of dollars on jewelry, unless you want to! Rather clean the kitchen when you see it's a mess and I'm busy working. Take me to see that ungodly awful chick flick you know I want to see. This doesn't just go for men, either. Women we need to make sure we take our men into consideration as well. If he's had a long work week, cut him some slack and arrange a guys night. Go to the new steakhouse he's been wanting to try.

Courtship changes from the beginning of your relationship to it's current definition. While all that mushy stuff is great at the beginning, I'd rather my husband brought me a RedBox movie rather than flowers and candy. Rather than taking me out on the town every weekend, I'd rather just have a Game of Thrones marathon. It's all about perspective and what your partner needs and wants now, not 10 years ago. Think about it, when was the last time you did something unexpectedly sweet for your significant other? It's important to do these things because rather than living like Bill Murray in "Groundhog's Day" you can be living a life full of fun and surprises you didn't even know you wanted.

                                              **If birds can court, so can we my friends!**