The Justin-Bobby Effect

I was watching old re-runs of The Hills and it was the beginning of season 3 when Audrina starts going back and forth with Justin Bobby. We all know how that turned out but in case you don't she basically has this long time crush on Justin Bobby and had an on again off again relationship with him. He screwed up quite a few times, and yet she continued to go back to him over and over and over again. Why do we as women do this?

I can relate...

This struck a chord with me because to be honest I had someone like that in my life. I hate to admit it but I was sooooo Audrina in this situation. The guy that used to be in my life was an ex boyfriend and we dated on and off for all of high school. He cheated on me several times, he used me often and was a charmer to say the least. He knew my personality and knew exactly what he had to say to get me to give him one more chance. I went back to him at least 5-6 different times and those times we weren't "together" we were still flirting and close. What's worse is no matter how many people told me I deserved better, I never understood or agreed with them. I started having this conversation with my husband because I feel as though women in general (at least most women anyway) have that one man/woman in their lives that they shouldn't be with but are still pulled back every time. It's that person that knows exactly what to say and when to say it so it will stick with you. He's a smooth talker, tends to be easy on the eyes (in my case this guys was the closest thing to a gladiator I've ever seen), a cheater/player, constantly needing attention and doesn't really give a rat's ass what other's think. It is my opinion that women fall for this type of guy and constantly go back because we think he will change for us. We think that we are that person he finds worthy changing for. WRONG! I'm not saying all women have or have had this type of person in their lives but I think it's fairly common.

Yup, he did that too!

Then I started thinking about men and their lack of this type of person in their lives. First of all, I think women have better game than men so if they are those manipulative types, they are much better at hiding it. But I also think that men tend to have more of those "one that got away" ladies. Men have a harder time committing in a relationship and when he finds someone who is worthy of his time and commitment, he may not be ready for her....so she leaves. A few years go by, he's still single and he realizes what a dumb ass he was. Again, not all men have these women in their lives but I think they are more common than we think.

This post isn't about being with the wrong person or right person. It's about the differences between women and men. Women keep those "bad boys" around for as long as possible in hopes of changing them. Men get rid of the perfect woman to avoid a long term relationship or monogamy. I think all of this game play goes away the older you get. I got rid of my bad boy years and years ago and let me tell you, my life is so much less dramatic. I have more confidence in my abilities to read people, I have more confidence in my worth, and I know the difference between a real man and a boy playing games.
EMM