Please DON'T You Be My Neighbor

I occasionally watch Jenna Marble's videos because they're hilarious. She made a video where she continuously vented about her neighbor who complained about Jenna and her friends being too loud. It got me thinking about all of the neighbors I've had throughout my life. So I thought I'd tell you a bit about some of my most memorable neighbors.

When I lived in Palm Springs (Cathedral City to be more exact) as a child we had some amazing neighbors. Well they were more like two houses down but they are seriously life long friends. We still catch up on each other's lives, attend important life events, and love each other to death. However, we had another neighbor who had this AMAZING tree on his front lawn. It was huge and every child's dream tree. He never let us climb it. Of course we did anyways, but he was a real dick about it.

While my husband was in the military I lived in one city and he lived in another about 2 hours away. He lived in a barracks room which is basically a hotel room with a kitchen. His neighbor, not his roommate, always had sex at like 3am with some girl and it lasted FOR......EV........ER! We used to call him the horse because he would go on, and on, and on, and on. Lucky bitch.

Once my husband was out of the Navy we finally got to live together, in the same apartment. It's actually the complex we live in now, just a different apartment. Our first neighbor there was an older lady, in her early 60's I would say. One day she came to the apartment at like 3pm to complain about the loud hip hop music I was playing. Thing is, I wasn't playing any hip hop! So after biting my head off, she realized it was my other neighbor and they had an all out war! My other neighbor left a nasty ass bag of beer in front of my old lady neighbor's door. My husband and I asked her to take out her trash because it was disgusting and beer was getting everywhere. She gave us attitude stating it wasn't her trash and she refused to take it out. We were in a rush so we just took off and when we returned, a building manager was washing the patio and taking the trash out.


That old lady moved out and we were excited, until we met the new neighbors. I swear there was like 6 of them and it was a one bedroom apartment! We called them the gypsies because every time we passed their apartments it smelled horribly! Like in using incense to cover up bad food and marijuana. They smoked all the time, which doesn't bother us, but because we were so close our apartment would sometimes smell like weed too. They were loud, annoying and they had a little boy (at least we think he was a little boy) who was never in school and always gave us the stink eye. He looked like a future hit man stuck in the body of an overweight 14 year old Armenian boy. Just plain creepy. They ended up blabbing about our precious Heisenberg and we had to move to a different apartment in the complex.

Now we are neighborless! Not necessarily we have people who live around us but we don't share walls with anyone, nobody next to us at all! BUT....we have Nathan. Nathan is a 5 year old little Asian boy who lives upstairs. He runs around like we don't live underneath him and is constantly coming to visit our puppy. Let me add we have a baby gate at the front door to avoid the dog running out and to keep Nathan from coming in. But his visits would last 20 minutes if we let it and he began throwing items into our apartment like rocks and balls. We now tell him after a few minutes to kindly get lost, but he doesn't really get it. The worst part is his parents just stand there allowing him to invade our privacy. However, on the rare occasion we catch Heisenberg before he bolts to the door, Nathan gets pissed off at the dog and yells in his adorable 5 year old voice "WHATEVER!"

All in all we've had some easy neighbors, some difficult ones, and some stinky ones but we've been pretty lucky. No dicks or complainers or partiers. I'm most scared of purchasing a home. What if we have terrible neighbors? We're stuck! I guess all I can do is pray we get people like ourselves. No matter where you live, just remember to have consideration for the people around you and enjoy life in peace.
EMM