The Other Woman

I was watching that show "The Talk" and they had Rielle Hunter on the show. For all of you who don't know who she is, she's John Edward's mistress with whom he had a child with. I guess you could say she is this decade's Monica Lewinsky. However I will say Monica had more class, even with the sperm on her dress. On this specific interview they were asking her tough questions; in my opinion not tough enough. This woman had the balls to write a tell all book about her affair with the ex presidential candidate. In the book she goes into details about the affair, how they had sex the first night they met, all of the gory details American's want to hear. What baffled me is her "surprise" to the questions they were asking her. Things like, and I'm paraphrasing, "You're a grown ass woman, how did you get pregnant at 43 knowing about condoms, birth control, depo shots etc.?" She looked confused and said "I just didn't think I could get pregnant. All of my friends had children, but I didn't, so I didn't think it was possible." WHAT?! I'm sorry, she's in her 40's right? Not 15? Seriously the stupidest thing I've heard a grown woman say. Watching her interview pissed me off. I'm a real advocate for blaming the person in the relationship who cheated (in this case John Edwards) not the other woman/man. But in this case I have to say this woman was insensitive to the fact that John Edwards wife had cancer and was insensitive to the fact that he had children. This woman wrote a tell all book and yet is still conservative with her answers to these SHOCKING questions. I don't get women like that. Clearly she seeks attention and is trying to elongate her 15 minutes of fame into 20. I'm pissed I'm even writing about her to be honest.

Watching this made me think about all the "other" women out there. You know I guess part of me wants to say we as women should stick together and if there's a man who is married or taken, step away. The other part of me knows how manipulative men can be so some women genuinely don't know these men are taken. So to me, the most important person in this scenario is the man or woman who cheated. Unless there is an agreement between the couple, the person who cheated should absolutely be the one to blame.

True story time....I was in a toxic relationship for years on and off. I've written about this guy several times. He will remain nameless cause I don't need that drama back in my life. But he is the person who was my security blanket. He made me feel good about myself when I was most vulnerable so I continued to go back to him on a regular basis. Anyways, we were dating for awhile at one point when he moved out of state for work. Long story short he came to visit me and I saw a picture he had taken of a girl sitting on top of him topless (almost as if it were during sex ewww). I didn't say anything to him because it just confirmed what he had been doing all along. I found her number and kept it stashed away. After he left, I sent her a text and she immediately called me apologizing. She didn't even know he had a girlfriend! We both broke it off with him and are now distant friends.

This is what I mean about him being the only one to blame. He cheated, he lied, he was manipulative and he took advantage of both of us. She was an innocent bystander, well not so innocent I guess with that photo I saw ;) but innocent enough.

All of this being said, when the other woman has it out to purposely steal your husband, get knocked up or God forbid write a tell all book, she does have a hint of home wrecker in her. Considering how almost all women have been cheated on, we should really try to remember how it felt and avoid being the other woman. We all deserve to be THE woman to a very special man.
EMM

Teenage Dream

I was at a local park yesterday in Aliso Viejo with 2 little girls (ages 5 & 6) when I came across a teenage couple making out. I don't mean pecs on the lips, or even a one time kiss hello. I mean full on, straddling, making out on a swing. Now this park is a small one, you can pretty much see the entire thing from anywhere you sit. It's a community park meaning only the people who live in the community can access it. These teenagers had to have been around 13-14 years old. Boy was sitting on the swing, girl was sitting on top straddling him, and they were making out, the entire time we were there. Eventually they moved it to the slide where she continued to straddle him and then continue to make out. Part of me was disgusted and shocked! These kids had no hesitation or consideration of their surroundings. Children running around them, swinging next to them, playing in the sand. Then another part of me remembered what it was like....

This reminded me of a time when I was young and in "love". I used to meet boys at the part, library, anywhere really. I don't think I ever made out like these two did in public but there would be some definite kissing. I remember feeling like those teenagers did. Why is teenage love so much more exciting? I love my husband but there is no way in hell we'd be making out at a park while I wrap my legs around him on a swing. It just wouldn't happen.

The passion of teenage love is so interesting to me. It's new, fresh, hormones are high and it's just the perfect storm. I remember my first kiss and how amazing I felt afterward. I remember the first boyfriend I had and how I wanted to spend every waking minute with him. I remember the first time a boy danced with me in middle school, I didn't wash my dress because it smelled like him. Young love is such a phenomenon. It's given to those too young to really know what to do with it.

I asked my husband why he thought teenage love moved so....fast? He said "We did." I realized we were teenagers when we started dating. We were 19 years old, and in love within 3 months. We got engaged 6 months after dating, and married 1.5 years after dating. Obviously I don't think it was a mistake, he's the love of my life. But looking back I can see why my parents were having a heart attack. Most of the times these young loves don't work out. In our case it is and hopefully will continue to blossom.

So what started out to be a creepy park situation, ended up bringing up memories of teenage lust. I don't condone public displays of affection that are inappropriate, but I guess part of me was a little envious of what they had. That young, can't keep my hands off of you, what may seem like forever love. Then I came back to reality and understood the importance of having a life long partner, rather than a guy to go to prom with.
EMM

Primos

Mackrina, Xochilt & Marlene

Me & Melissa

Cousins by blood, friends by choice. That is simply how I describe my relationship with my cousins. Please let me be clear here, I have a lot of what Americans might call 1st cousins. However in the Latiin world, everyone is your cousin. If you are the same age and grew up together you're cousins. If someone is older than you by 15 years they're your aunt or uncle (even if they really are your 3rdor 4th cousin). I even have family friends who have no blood relation who I consider my cousins and aunts and uncles. I just wanted to clarify this to my readers so you don't think I have 50 first cousins.

Nikki & Kristyn

Juan & his baby boy

Growing up I had a solid 9 cousins in my life. These people were anywhere between 10 years older to 5 years younger than me. They were my play mates, enemies, sisters, brothers and best of all friends. I was the youngest for awhile so I had a hard time because I was the baby. But as I got older that changed. I grew closer to them, understanding them, seeking their advice. My cousin Melissa is like the sister I never had. I still go to her now when I need help or the brutal honest truth. Marlene is my younger cousin but has the wisdom of an older generation. Nikki is the cousin I go to for a wicked good time. Juan has the morals of a Godly man. Mackrina has the heart of a saint. Kristyn has the artistic ability I wish I had. Turtle has the family I will one day create. Xochilt completely embodies our culture as Mexican women. And Lupe has the strength of 10 men.

Turtle & his family

I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I know that if there was ever a time when I needed any one of those individuals they would be here in a heart beat (God permitting). It brings me such joy to know I have that much love in my family. You have no idea now crucial it is to have that type of bond and support in your life.

Lupe

I should also say that I have a lot of other cousins I didn't mention because they are so far away, or honestly, we aren't that close. These 9 specific people were the people who were in my life daily. So I graciously dedicate this blog to all my wonderful cousins. I love you more than you'll know. You're my past, present and future. You're all a piece of my childhood that can never be lost. I treasure that more than you know.
EMM

Battle Hymm of the Crazy Mother!

A few months ago I heard about a controversial book on Chinese mothers and how they raise their children. The idea sounded so interesting I immediately purchased the book on iTunes. It sat in my library for months until I finished reading a few other books. It was time to pick a new book so I looked through my library and found it. Let me tell you, I could not put the damn thing down. It is a super easy read, not intimidating at all. The chapters are short and the book is a mere 250 pages.

At first I was glued to the book because I despised the author. I thought, and still think, she is an overbearing mother who pushes her children too far. That being said, by the end of the book I found myself sympathizing with her and rooting her on. I'm not sure exactly when I flipped sides but I can seriously say I was cursing this woman's name for a solid 200 pages. She never abused her children by any means, but she was mean and cruel to her daughters. Calling them names, demeaning them, and treating them like they are disappointments. I really did not like that she called her parenting style "Chinese parenting" while everyone else in the world (with a few exceptions) were Westerners. First of all, every individual parent is different from every other one. I'm not a mother yet, but I do work with children and I know that I have to change teaching techniques to each individual child's needs. And I only have them for 6 hours a day! So calling everyone else Westerners really bothered me.

I didn't decide to write a blog on this book to bash the author. Quite frankly I think she got enough shit when the book first came out. I am here to recommend all of you read it. While I don't understand or agree with her parenting style, I do respect it. Hey the woman has insanely intelligent, musically gifted, kind, independent daughters. Had she not been the way she was with them, they may have been mediocre children.

So if you get a chance splurge the $9.99 and buy the book. I'm telling you if you're a woman you will go nuts, if you're a mother you'll scream, but if you really just want another perspective on a different culture's parenting style this is the book to read.

EMM

Sugar Momma

According to Urban Dictionary, Sugar Momma: A woman  (often an older woman) who holds her man/woman in nice standing with money, food, an apartment, etc-not always used in a derogatory fashion, or merely in exchange for sex, but because she can.


I watch that show "Bethenny Ever After" with Bethenny Frankel. For those of you who don't know she invented the Skinny Girl Margarita and has since become a very successful and wealthy woman. I don't know the details but I do know she made a huge deal with Jim Beam for approximately $120 million dollars! Let me say she was already married when she struck this deal, her husband even helped her make the deal (according to the show). Once she became a multi-millionaire her husband seemed to be bothered with the fact that she was now more successful than he. There were plenty of arguments
between the 2 on the show about money, his career,
their life, her success, etc.


When I watch this show and explain the situation to my husband we both think he's crazy! I can tell you right now if I made $120 million dollars my husband would be VERY comfortable using my success to buy cars, homes, games, computers, I mean whatever he wanted! He would have no issue with the fact that I made the money. I wouldn't either to be honest. What's mine is his and what's his is mine.


I don't know how the average man feels about this but I think it's becoming more and more acceptable to men for women to be the breadwinners of the household. I hate using the word "acceptable" because it makes it seem like women are allowed to make more money now, but I use it because it's the proper word to use in this situation. I think older generations, like my parents, would consider a woman making more money to be a bit of a struggle for the man. Men of this age seem to feel insecure and degraded. I absolutely disagree with these feelings.


Women work hard, why shouldn't we be able to spoil our men? It's romantic and expected of men to bring home the bacon, but when a woman does it, it's a strike at their ego? I don't think so! I know my husband and male friends would LOVE to have a sugar momma! I can't imagine that as women we care if we make more money than our significant other. I mean we want equality, we want the same rights as them, we want equal opportunity. That being said, we should be comfortable with our men spending the money we make. Is being a sugar momma a step forward in feminism? I don't want to get into that whole debate but I do think we as women are making progress in breaking that glass ceiling. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go bake some cupcakes!
EMM