Ex's are an inevitable. In my opinion they're important factors in who you are as a person. They help you learn from your mistakes, grow as a person and how to treat others and are treated. Let's face it, they also help you determine the type of person you want to be with as well. When it comes to my ex's...there's no denying I have a diverse group. While most of my relationships ended badly, there were a couple that ended based on mutual agreement or things just weren't working out. I've recently sent the question of talking to ex's out into the social networking world of Facebook. I got several responses and the answers varied. Some people were so appalled at the idea of talking to their ex's, some still spoke to all of them! I can't imagine doing that. There are also those people who hurt you so badly; they're not worth any part of you. I have a couple of those ex's as well. In those cases, I say get over it and move on with your life. If I let the men who hurt me determine my destiny in life or which type of man I truly deserve, I would be a miserable woman.
In my experience when a relationship ends it doesn't mean all ties must be cut from the person. Heck even the guys who mistreated me were still "friends" of mine. That all changed when I got married. With all of my past relationships I made sure to be honest with my husband and my current status with that person. If he was uncomfortable with anything, things changed. Aside from 1 consistent ex of mine that was a friend, there was one ex that reached out to me after I got married. At first he called to apologize for his wrong doings but eventually with the blessing of my husband, we became friends again. He passed away about 4 months after we rekindled the friendship. The reason I'm telling you this specific story is because while we were no longer romantically involved, I still created a friendship with him that meant more to me than I could have thought. I can’t imagine not having him in my life those last few months. So while I think it's better to part ways when you separate, there are certain people who change you for the better and worth mending broken bridges over.
I have to touch on one more thing here. I've had boyfriends who were friends with their ex's and it never bothered me. Now, my husband doesn't speak to all but 1 ex and it really doesn't bother me. I know what it's like to lose an ex/friend and I would never stop my husband from having a friendship with a woman who helped him become the wonderful man I married.
EMM
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